Vague future

"By having a clear vision, even a short vision of what will happen in the future. We will be less worried and feel a little bit confident, and calm because we can manage our life in the world that is changing every second." Ly Nguyen

Midnight thoughts all kicking in and it's making me toss and turn in bed.
This gap year has given me the time to think a lot but it still makes me wonder if the course I'll be taking in university will be the right one for me. I'm not sure if I appreciate this luxury of being allowed to ponder about it, I'm worried that I might change my mind.

The future is a scary place. The thought of not knowing what could happen is scary. As a child, I remember forging an image of my future. The expectations I had of my future were so vast, I doubt I thought of how I'd actually get there. Once upon a time I wanted to be a lawyer and along the way it became an actress, a singer, so on and so on. I actually thought of becoming a princess like HELLO? I mean which girl didn't want to live wearing designer clothes, shop without thinking twice and actually got to do something fun for a living. Well, most of us imagined life as the rich and wealthy. It didn't occur to me back then that it was more than just studying hard. So I studied hard in school, got good grades and all but when it was time to choose my course for university, all the question marks came up. I started to think and worry about job opportunities, the chances of a promising future, the possibilities of living a good life and whether I'd actually like my future job. I was afraid that I'd be working like a slave for people my whole life, I didn't want that. I've always wanted to own my own business and become an entrepeneur one day.

I changed my course for university about 2 months before submission because the previous one didn't seem to have a promising future after doing all my research. It made me understand that liking the job description is one thing, but having a wide range of job choices to choose from is more important for my future. As I got older, having a fun job didn't seem to matter as much as having a good income and that worried me. What if after all of it, I hate my job?

When your age counter is ticking and you start to see more cons than pros about chasing that dream of yours.  - Bellywellyjelly

It's true, everything seems to be harder. So I decided on my course cause I saw how it would be able to help the world, help life. I saw that possible future but what if that means I'd be working for someone for the rest of my life? Or what if I don't graduate well and end up working as something that I don't like or end up doing something that doesn't involve my degree at all? Is reality this scary  or is it all in my head? How would I know?

xx