" Hurry up "
" He's going now "
What does one do when someone they love who has been there for as long as they could remember is about to leave for good, forever?
I have been intending to write this post awhile back but have not had the courage to cause when I do, it means it's real. But I felt like I should because you were such an important person to me and I'd like everyone to know that.
Not too long ago, gong gong (grandfather) was strong and healthy, always watching us every Saturday from his gong gong chair with the occasional " why is everyone using their phones " or "how is your brother" (cause my brother is working overseas). He always observed us and discussed with popo (grandmother). This happened every week we were there. Occasionally he would compliment us with really sweet words like "You look prettier!" or "You look fitter!", that sort of stuff.
Not too long ago, gong gong (grandfather) was strong and healthy, always watching us every Saturday from his gong gong chair with the occasional " why is everyone using their phones " or "how is your brother" (cause my brother is working overseas). He always observed us and discussed with popo (grandmother). This happened every week we were there. Occasionally he would compliment us with really sweet words like "You look prettier!" or "You look fitter!", that sort of stuff.
We would watch him and popo making fun of each other all the time and it would make us giggle and laugh so much!
" She is the one holding the steering wheel, I'm just the one pressing the gas! "
They were lovely, always watching out for each other. They're great parents and amazing grandparents. Constantly wanting to know how each of us were doing, whether at school or at work.
When we were younger, gong gong often went fishing. He has only ever brought my brother and I to watch once. He had a pretty great collection of fishing rods he was proud of which the cousins and I would spin when we walked pass cause it was just tempting. Gong gong would often bring fishes home for popo to cook for our weekly dinner and trust me, it was great. He would always drive popo in his favourite cute jeep around to buy stuff. Even before the recent Chinese new year, he was driving her out.
Both gong gong and I had one thing in common, our love for fish heads. Whenever the adults offered it to him, he'd offer it to me! It always warms my heart to have grandparents who care about me, it's nice.
He always reminded us,
" The most important thing is to study hard, so that you can live well and make sure you take care of your parents when you're older ".
He was very proud of his children and I'm sure he's happy for them. I hope he's proud of his grand children too, cause we definitely adore and respect him a lot. Visiting him at the hospital the past month really did not prepare any of us for this day. We thought he'd be better and home soon.
On Sunday morning, my dad came into our rooms to wake us up, telling us that gong gong was leaving so we hurried but we just weren't fast enough. On the way there, I was hoping that you'd wait for me, I ran, I really did but it was too late. I really hoped I could go back to that morning and made sure I made it there earlier to say my goodbyes but I missed the chance and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life, being a few seconds late. Watching popo broke my heart even more, it was difficult to breathe. Every thing happened way too fast but I'm glad that you're done with all the pain and at peace now. You were a fighter even until the end. Seeing that peaceful look on your face when I arrived also reminded me that it will be okay. You were so important to me as a grandfather cause I only remember having one around since I lost my other grandfather at a young age. I'm glad you got to watch me grow up to become who I am now, and I trust you'll be watching over me from where ever you are cause that is the kind of grandfather you are. Having you as my grandfather has got to be one of the greatest blessings I've got in this life. Thank you.
So I held his hand tight for the last time hoping for some reaction but that was it. He was gone.
I did not know what to think or feel, something just broke.
You never really realise how much you feel for someone until they're gone. So appreciate your parents and grandparents while you can, make them happy while they're around, while you can cause when they're gone, they're not coming back.
" I know you're in a better place but it's always gonna hurt "
xx
" The most important thing is to study hard, so that you can live well and make sure you take care of your parents when you're older ".
He was very proud of his children and I'm sure he's happy for them. I hope he's proud of his grand children too, cause we definitely adore and respect him a lot. Visiting him at the hospital the past month really did not prepare any of us for this day. We thought he'd be better and home soon.
On Sunday morning, my dad came into our rooms to wake us up, telling us that gong gong was leaving so we hurried but we just weren't fast enough. On the way there, I was hoping that you'd wait for me, I ran, I really did but it was too late. I really hoped I could go back to that morning and made sure I made it there earlier to say my goodbyes but I missed the chance and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life, being a few seconds late. Watching popo broke my heart even more, it was difficult to breathe. Every thing happened way too fast but I'm glad that you're done with all the pain and at peace now. You were a fighter even until the end. Seeing that peaceful look on your face when I arrived also reminded me that it will be okay. You were so important to me as a grandfather cause I only remember having one around since I lost my other grandfather at a young age. I'm glad you got to watch me grow up to become who I am now, and I trust you'll be watching over me from where ever you are cause that is the kind of grandfather you are. Having you as my grandfather has got to be one of the greatest blessings I've got in this life. Thank you.
So I held his hand tight for the last time hoping for some reaction but that was it. He was gone.
I did not know what to think or feel, something just broke.
You never really realise how much you feel for someone until they're gone. So appreciate your parents and grandparents while you can, make them happy while they're around, while you can cause when they're gone, they're not coming back.
" I know you're in a better place but it's always gonna hurt "
xx
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