Breathe amidst it all

It's been awhile since I last wrote but here I am, trying to put all my thoughts together before the year ends. 

2018, has honestly been a really long year; filled with adventures, experiences, lessons. This year started off really badly but I made it through with the love and support of the people around me. I've learned tons, seen so much and changed my mentality on so much. I may or may not be a little lost at the moment, not knowing what to do but I know I'll figure it all out soon enough. What I know, is that I gotta put myself above everything else despite wanting to care about the people around me because at the end of the day I gotta catch myself when I fall. I no longer relied on the people around me to make me happy because I knew that if I were to be truly happy, it had to start from me. 

This year, I've been given the opportunity to travel so much, see so much of the world and for that I am eternally grateful for my parents. My friends have been there supporting me throughout the tougher days and reminding of how much I can be. It's been great. Over the year, I realised how important self reflection is and how it's necessary to get yourself on track. I have gotten better at so many other things but also been working on my flaws that have been dragging me down previously. 

This year, I've also learned about loving and losing although I'm still working on acceptance; I know that everything in life happens for a reason and that life is so much bigger than the problem at hand. People who want to be in your life will eventually find their way back and work it out, but those who have no intention of doing so will eventually drift away no matter how much effort you put in. Until today, I still believe in fate and effort but if you want something enough, if it matters to you enough, you'll make the effort to do something about it. I fight hard for the things I want and I'm not too sure if it's something I admire or hate about myself. Not everyone you want wants to be in your life and sadly, that's not up to you to decide.

It's okay though, despite the rough year, I am still grateful for the pain, the lessons, the people, the happy days, the brighter days because I am who I am today because of it all. I have so much to improve because heck I am still in the process of learning but every lesson is a long term investment.

Here's to 2019, a year filled with new dreams, new hopes and new adventures and maybe just maybe a stronger, wiser and happier us. 

Lots of love,

xoxo