Breathe amidst it all

It's been awhile since I last wrote but here I am, trying to put all my thoughts together before the year ends. 

2018, has honestly been a really long year; filled with adventures, experiences, lessons. This year started off really badly but I made it through with the love and support of the people around me. I've learned tons, seen so much and changed my mentality on so much. I may or may not be a little lost at the moment, not knowing what to do but I know I'll figure it all out soon enough. What I know, is that I gotta put myself above everything else despite wanting to care about the people around me because at the end of the day I gotta catch myself when I fall. I no longer relied on the people around me to make me happy because I knew that if I were to be truly happy, it had to start from me. 

This year, I've been given the opportunity to travel so much, see so much of the world and for that I am eternally grateful for my parents. My friends have been there supporting me throughout the tougher days and reminding of how much I can be. It's been great. Over the year, I realised how important self reflection is and how it's necessary to get yourself on track. I have gotten better at so many other things but also been working on my flaws that have been dragging me down previously. 

This year, I've also learned about loving and losing although I'm still working on acceptance; I know that everything in life happens for a reason and that life is so much bigger than the problem at hand. People who want to be in your life will eventually find their way back and work it out, but those who have no intention of doing so will eventually drift away no matter how much effort you put in. Until today, I still believe in fate and effort but if you want something enough, if it matters to you enough, you'll make the effort to do something about it. I fight hard for the things I want and I'm not too sure if it's something I admire or hate about myself. Not everyone you want wants to be in your life and sadly, that's not up to you to decide.

It's okay though, despite the rough year, I am still grateful for the pain, the lessons, the people, the happy days, the brighter days because I am who I am today because of it all. I have so much to improve because heck I am still in the process of learning but every lesson is a long term investment.

Here's to 2019, a year filled with new dreams, new hopes and new adventures and maybe just maybe a stronger, wiser and happier us. 

Lots of love,

xoxo

Forgive yourself

Forgive yourself, for all the mistakes you've done, for all the bad you've caused to the people around you, and most importantly, yourself. We all make mistakes, bad choices, human errors. Neither you nor I, are the perfect creation so I believe it is only a norm to make mistakes. 

Have you ever became toxic to someone in a relationship, be it to a friend or a partner without realising it? Have you ever unintentionally hurt someone with words you've just spat out out of anger? Have you made a bad choice which affected another party? Did you regret certain choices you've made because the outcome wasn't what you wanted? 

It's okay, so have I and many many other people. I'm not saying it's okay to do shit but it is okay to make mistakes. One only realises the mistake when they realise it's wrong, by then, it'd be too late because things would have had already happened and we both know that time isn't about to reverse itself.

But what you can do, is learn from that mistake itself. Don't run from it nor avoid it because you might just end up repeating the same mistake, and that'd just mean you didn't learn anything huh?
Recognise it, accept it, learn from it and then forgive yourself.
Take the time to understand that things don't just change overnight. Take the time to allow yourself to grow. You'll grow so much more once you see and learn to forgive yourself, once you understand that your past was a lesson and not a life sentence.
You're so much more than the mistakes you've made.

It's not how we make mistakes, but how we correct them that defines us.

- Rachel Wolchin

with love,

 xoxo 

I hope you know

I hope you know that in the midst of falling, you were growing. 

That when you weren't sure of which direction you were heading, you were always growing even when it did not feel that way. Even when your heart felt so tight, with the weight in your chest so heavy, you were growing. When the heart were in hands that fumbled with all that it was, and returned to you, when "i love you' became 'i can no longer do it' - you were growing. 

You were growing in the dark, and was still growing in the storm. You were growing in the loss, and in the healing and all that was messy with your life. And I know, trust me, I know it is hard to recognise. I know sometimes circumstances can change the person you are, that baggage can sometimes bury you. 

But I hope that you see it now. How your journey has made you into the person you are today. How it made you stronger and softer at the same time. I hope you see it now, how it was all necessary for your growth, how you were growing even when you folded you hope into yourself each night. How you were growing when you fought to wake up every morning.

I hope you see it now- how you were discovering yourself. How you were becoming.

-inspired by Bianca Sparacino

Lots of love, 

xoxo

Hola España

Hola como estás

Uno dos tres

The few phrases we kept repeating before we got onto the plane to Spain. This was definitely a necessary trip, away from the gloomy weather as well as the university stress during our Easter break. It was nothing short of amazing, especially with all the good, scrumscious yummy tapas!

This has been a post I've been meaning to blog about but haven't had the time to because finals were shortly after such an amazing break. So here I am, starting summer break right! My MCR babies and I flew off to Spain on the weekend Easter break started for about 2 weeks, which we agreed was a little too long but we had a good time anyway! We explored 3 cities, Barcelona, Madrid and Alicante! Personally, I enjoyed Barcelona and Alicante the most!

First stop : Barcelona!

 

  

This was Gaudi's masterpiece, the La Sagrada Familia which was gorgeous. When you think the exterior is amazing, the interior will leave you astonished because trust me, it was gorgeous. 

Casa Battlo. 

We prepaid for tickets online a few days before we flew to Spain. You can easily do that on their website! It's worth paying to enter this casa.

 Park guell was gorgeous! I loved the whole concept of it, art and nature like w o w but I only have a few photos of this place cause the rest has my face in it. 

We took a cable car up to montjuic, can't remember how much the ticket was but we managed to get it at the foot of the hill. It was really cold because of the wind btw be prepared! We didn't enter the castle though, because we couldn't get tickets online maybe you could get it there!

Montserrat was breathtaking. Unfortunately, we only managed to get as high as where the cable car stopped which was the monastery because it was freezing and raining sigh, bad weather days are so annoying



Second stop : Madrid

Bull fighting is a famous sport in Spain, so of course we had to visit the bull ring! We actually learned a lot from that tour, it was mind-blowing tbh, super worth entering. We got our tickets at the entrance of the ring and got a student discount as well yay! We didn't manage to do much in Madrid because it was Easter weekend and the huge park was closed ): 

Last stop : Alicante

Our air b&b in Alicante was the best although we had to literally drag our luggages up the stairs, it was gorgeous and had so much feels!

We spent most of our time in Alicante chilling and getting sunburnt really. Had a bunch more of seafood and gelato and just had a really relaxing time before going back for classes. All the Spanish food were so good it made our tummies so happy. Learned quite a bit about Spanish food and their culture which is always something that makes travelling so worthwhile!  Definitely looking forward to our next trip! Sorry for the mess, still figuring out how to arrange the photos on my blog oppsies bear with me.

Lots of love,

xoxo